Sleep a 3am plus ....... and woke up at 5am ..... going crazy again .... every time when i have a good time ...... she will spoil it ...... i really feel bad to leave my friends ..... wanted to go out with them .... but in the end .... i have to back out ..... and this is the second time i ditch them ...... if they hate me or leave me ..... i will not hate them ...... i really want to leave this house so badly ...... i dun wish to quarrel with her everyday ...... i really dun wan ....... and no one know what really happen between me and her ...... even me myself also dunno ..... what have i done wrong? if she hate me that much ..... why not kill me? i will forgive her for killing me ....... calling me CHEAP ..... is that the way Mother call their daughter ...... i am so tired of talking to her ..... i just wan peace .... THAT WHAT I BLOODY ASK FOR ONLY! staying at home i dun get peace ...... she will nag and shout for no fucking reason ..... i really hope i can go back to my own home .... which is Balam Road ...... the home which i had spend 13 years ...... HATE THIS COLD HOME! STUPID AND USELESS TAMPINES HOME .... dun feel warm at all .... all i feel is NOTHING! i am afraid of going out ..... once i step out of this house ..... i dun think i will come back ....... how long am i going to live in this COLD HOUSE? feel like going oversea and study ..... i really hate her ..... really hate ..... i know people will say that she bring me to this world ...... she 10 months pregnant ..... BLEAH BLEAH~~~~ and i will only reply ..... SHE BRING ME TO THIS WORLD TO TORTURE ME! FUCKING HELL ....... SHE WILL NOT SCOLD MY BROTHER ..... SHE ONLY SCOLD ME ...... SHE KNOW THAT I WILL NOT SAY BACK HER .... SHE KNOW I WILL NOT RUN AWAY FROM HOME BECAUSE OF MY DAD ...... I REALLY WILL GO MAD ..... FUCKING MAD ..... SOON I WILL REALLY TALK TO WALL ...... IF I GOT DEPRESSION IS ALSO HER BLOODY FAULT ...... SHE IS THE ONE THAT MAKE ME HATE HER ...... SHE REALLY BLOODY TORTURE ME .... SHE GAVE BIRTH TO ME BECAUSE SHE GOT NO CHOICE ...... MY DAD LOVE ME ...... SHE DUN ...... I DID LOTS OF SELF REFLECTION ..... I REALLY DUNNO WHAT I HAVE DONE WRONG ....... I REALLY DUNNO .... i wish i can sleep until die ...... or someone hate me kill me ...... got enough of this ..... PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! i just need a hand to help me .... please dun leave me